broke unemployed businessman stock photo image hopeless problems

The Cubicle Alum: Confessions of a Recovering Investment Banker

So, here I am. Freshly unemployed. Not by choice, mind you. Let’s just say the markets got… turbulent. And suddenly, after years of 80-hour weeks, crippling anxiety, and enough caffeine to fuel a small rocket, I was… free. Free to do what, you ask? Free to stare blankly at the ceiling and contemplate the meaninglessness of it all, mostly. This blog, “The Cubicle Alum,” is my attempt to process this strange new reality. It’s a space to share the highs (relatively speaking) and lows (abysmal) of transitioning from high-powered finance to… well, whatever this is. Think of it as therapy, but free (for you, at least). For years, my life revolved around spreadsheets, pitch decks, and the relentless pursuit of the next deal. I lived and breathed financial models, slept (sometimes) under my desk, and judged people solely on their ability to pronounce “EBITDA” correctly. I was, in many ways, a caricature of the stereotypical investment banker. Now? I’m learning to cook actual meals instead of relying on Seamless. I’m rediscovering hobbies I abandoned years ago. I even started going to the gym, not to look good for client meetings, but to feel… good. The sheer novelty of having free weekends is still a bit overwhelming. But it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. The existential dread is real. The fear of obsolescence looms large. The crushing weight of “what’s next?” threatens to suffocate me on a daily basis. And the constant reminders from well-meaning family members about my “career prospects” don’t exactly help. This blog will chronicle my journey. I’ll share my experiences navigating the job market (or lack thereof). I’ll dissect the absurdities of the corporate world. I’ll rant about the soul-crushing monotony of networking events. And, hopefully, I’ll offer some insights (or at least, humorous anecdotes) for others who find themselves in a similar predicament. Maybe you’re a fellow ex-banker searching for meaning beyond mergers and acquisitions. Maybe you’re contemplating a career change and want a glimpse into the potential pitfalls. Or maybe you just enjoy reading about someone else’s misery. Whatever your reason, welcome. I plan to discuss everything from the financial realities of unemployment (ramen, anyone?) to the surprisingly complex art of writing a compelling resume. I’ll delve into the psychological impact of losing a high-status job and the struggle to redefine my identity. I’ll explore alternative career paths and share my experiences attempting to break into new industries. Ultimately, “The Cubicle Alum” is about finding purpose after privilege. It’s about rediscovering myself after years of being defined by my job title. It’s about learning to appreciate the simple things, like a home-cooked meal and a full night’s sleep. And maybe, just maybe, it’s about finding a way to build a more meaningful and fulfilling life, even without the corner office and the seven-figure bonus. Wish me luck. I’m going to need it.